What Makes Some People So Mean (2023)

FAQs

What Makes Some People So Mean? ›

Research shows that being insulted makes people more likely to demean others. Freud argued that people cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having those same traits.

Low self-esteem is often at the root of meanness or bad behavior. People who are hurting and who think little of themselves often do and say hurtful things to others as a kind of revenge for the way they've been made to feel.

What Makes a Person Rude and Disrespectful? People are rude and disrespectful when they act impolite, inconsiderate, or mean towards someone else. There can be many root causes for rudeness, such as insecurity or fear. People are often rude after being on the receiving end of rudeness.

For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don't like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don't feel the others' pain or they enjoy feeling the others' pain. Another reason people harm the harmless is because they nonetheless see a threat.

For the most part, it comes down to jealousy. People who are deliberately mean are so lacking in their own self-worth that they're jealous of anyone who can simply smile and be happy. They hate that they're happy because they can't be themselves.

One of the best ways to defuse rude and negative behavior is to stay friendly and positive. This gives the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behavior to match yours. Kindness can be a wonderful antidote to rudeness.

Answer and Explanation: Meanness is not a clinical term or a personality disorder in the DSM-5. However, people with certain personality disorders have the tendency to be mean. People with antisocial and narcissistic personality disorder can be intentionally cruel.

The best way to avoid rude people is to meet their acts of rudeness with kindness and then remove yourself from their presence. If you can't do this and can't walk away, try grey rocking, which involves acting as unresponsive as possible like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions when conversing.

Are mean people insecure? ›

Being mean is a product of insecure self-esteem.

Research shows that being insulted makes people more likely to demean others.

Meanness has many dimensions. It's a characteristic of bullies and bitter people, and a variety of issues influence its emergence from our inner life. Often it's simply the spill-over from an individual's accumulation of unresolved negativity. A bitter person has nothing much to offer but his meanness.

It may be because of emotional baggage, the desire to assert control or independence, to test boundaries, or simply, because people may just expect a lot from the other. Some may have a fear of intimacy, due to cultural upbringing, or because of living through traumatic or abusive relationships.

They may simply be so self-absorbed that they are unaware of others, motivated to meet their own needs, and just oblivious even when it is at the expense of others. They may unwittingly say or do something hurtful, push their way in front of others, or disregard normal social behavior.

There could be several reasons for this. One may be that a person may have been exposed to manipulative people in their life and have a natural aversion to others who come across as too friendly. They simply don't trust friendliness, especially from someone they don't know well.

Try disarming them with kindness.

If someone is being disrespectful or rude, responding with kindness can take them by surprise and encourage them to rethink their behavior. Instead of getting upset or retaliating, try deescalating the situation with a smile and a few kind words.

A simple “thank you” is powerful when you encounter rudeness. It shows to them that their words won't affect you. You're comfortable with who you are and what someone says about you doesn't impact you. After all, we usually say “thank you” to acknowledge someone who has done something positive for us.

If someone is being mean to you then it could be a way to gain control and power over a situation or you. This is often a ruse to show social control and dominance. For many, it is a coping mechanism, and reacting aggressively and saying mean things gives them some semblance of control.

What are the symptoms of a mean person? ›

Mean people have very little empathy for others. They aren't able to connect with them on an emotional level or understand things from others' points of view. More than that, they don't want to broaden their minds. They stubbornly stick to their own points of view without any consideration for others.

Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation.

Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, anxiety, and rage. They are unable to manage these intense emotions.

A mean person is someone who is unkind or cruel with the intention to put others down and make them fail.

People with toxic traits know they have them

But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.

“Some of the most common insecurities and relationships include emotional insecurity, attachment insecurity, physical insecurity, financial insecurity, professional insecurity, and social insecurity,” explains LaTonya P.

What is the biggest insecurity of a person? ›

The fear of being socially judged is one of the most common forms of insecurity. Some people feel self-conscious, anxious, and fearful when in front of others. It doesn't matter whether it's a group of colleagues or family members. This can extend to even the smallest of social encounters like a date.

If someone is unkind, they behave in an unpleasant, unfriendly, or slightly cruel way. You can also describe someone's words or actions as unkind. No one has an unkind word to say about him.

Meanness is a personal quality whose classical form, discussed by many from Aristotle to Thomas Aquinas, characterizes it as a vice of "lowness", but whose modern form deals more with cruelty.

Being mean involves “purposefully saying or doing something to hurt someone once (or maybe twice).” Unlike unthinking rudeness, “mean behavior very much aims to hurt or depreciate someone.

There are various reasons why you may feel that you're engaging in mean or rude behavior, even if they're not immediately apparent to you. For example, an underlying mental health condition, a lack of social skills, cultural differences, or low self-esteem could all be potential causes.

Paranoia. This is an accumulation of thoughts and beliefs that everyone is against you. Paranoia can be a disorder in itself, but it's also a symptom of other mood or personality disorders.

Trauma Bonding is when we are attracted to someone because they remind us of our past traumas. A good example of this would be if you have an ex who broke your heart, you might be attracted to people who remind you of that person.

Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.

Antisocial personality disorder, also called psychopathy, is one personality disorder that could cause people to be selfish. People with antisocial personality disorder have a diminished capacity for empathy. Since they don't feel remorse for hurting other people, they could be more likely to hurt or violate others.

How do you act around people who don't like you? ›

This difficulty may stem from certain personality traits, worries about the thoughts of others, low self-esteem, and challenging circumstances. If you'd like to be kinder, you might try making eye contact, smiling, using your conversation partner's name, and being a good listener during interactions.

People who are uncomfortable with others or prefer to be alone may have a hard time maintaining friendships. Personality issues such as being pushy, too talkative, or controlling can be off-putting to others. Talking to an objective third party such as a therapist can help reveal issues that interfere with friendships.

Why do I feel uncomfortable around people? You might feel uncomfortable around someone because you have feelings for them, or because it's a toxic or intimidating person. Discomfort can also be a sign of underlying social anxiety or lack of social skills.

Additionally, the most cited reasons for why one can't make friends with ease were cited to be shyness (53 per cent), the feeling that friendships needed too much work (20 per cent), and a busy life (14 per cent).

Staying friendly and positive can calm the other person down and give them an incentive to match your behavior. Simply put, kindness is the antidote to meanness. In my own experience, being kind to someone who is obviously trying to be mean to you can be extremely hard, but it does get easier with practice.

If you've addressed toxic behavior with the person exhibiting it and they have taken it to heart, it's possible for toxic people to change. “Toxic people can absolutely change,” Kennedy says, “however they must see their part in the problem before they are likely to find the motivation to do so.”

Yes, people can change behaviors, but they need to first become accountable for those, and then be convinced they should (or want to) change them. Hurtful behaviors — such as lying, cheating, dismissing, or controlling — are often habits that turn into harmful behavior patterns.

Why are some people so mean psychology? ›

Being mean is a product of insecure self-esteem.

Freud argued that people cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having those same traits. Researchers have discovered that threatened self-esteem drives a lot of aggression.

They may simply be so self-absorbed that they are unaware of others, motivated to meet their own needs, and just oblivious even when it is at the expense of others. They may unwittingly say or do something hurtful, push their way in front of others, or disregard normal social behavior.

If someone is being mean to you then it could be a way to gain control and power over a situation or you. This is often a ruse to show social control and dominance. For many, it is a coping mechanism, and reacting aggressively and saying mean things gives them some semblance of control.

The truth about mean people is that they rarely ever realize that they are mean. To them, this is just the way life works. To a mean person, everyone else is mean, as they simply don't see things the way they do.

"Honor thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee" (Deuteronomy 5:16a). Disrespectful actions of children, no matter their age, are abhorred by God, and there's no place that's worse to see the disrespectful actions of children than in a homeschooling family.